


A Very Westeros Musical

by whitecrossgirl



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, Disney Songs, Gen, Musicals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24558769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitecrossgirl/pseuds/whitecrossgirl
Summary: Basically take Game of Thrones, add in some Disney songs and you get this. Braime.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 14
Kudos: 26





	1. Kiss The Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Back in 2012 on ff.net, I wrote two massive Merlin fics using Disney and Broadway songs; called A Very Merlin Musical and A Very Merlin Broadway Musical. I wanted to challenge myself as obviously, Game of Thrones canon doesn't always allow for sweet Disney moments. 
> 
> Kiss The Girl was published on my Tumblr in September 2019

“Have you seen Jaime anywhere?” Tyrion asked Podrick loudly, struggling to be heard as the great hall became rowdier and rowdier as more and more wine, beer and whatever it was the Wildlings were drinking that looked like water but smelt and tasted like dragon fire. Jaime had vanished into the crowd about ten minutes ago and Tyrion hadn’t seen him since. The war was over, they had survived; this was a time for celebration, not disappearing acts. He had not seen his brother drunk in a very long time and he wanted to make the most of it.

“No, I haven’t seen Ser Brienne either, she went to get some air and didn’t come back.” Podrick replied and the two of them shared a look before slipping out of the room. The war was over. They were alive. The world was open to new possibilities and opportunities; such as the two most oblivious people in Westeros finally realising that they were in love with each other. It would make sense; the celebration of life, music, alcohol, the light of a full moon; all the elements for declaring love for another were in place.

They would just need a little push in the right direction.

Tyrion and Podrick made their way up to the battlements, looking down on the courtyard below. Jaime was leaning against a pillar, watching Brienne who was sitting on the steps, staring up at the sky. Tyrion had never imagined Jaime as one for pining, but the look on his brother’s face was definitely one of longing. Of wanting. Clearly Jaime wanted to approach Brienne, to speak to her or comfort her, but the way she hugged her knees and seemed unaware of his presence seemed to indicate how much she wanted to be alone.

Screw it. It may have been due to the alcohol he had drunk or maybe he was secretly a romantic or because he wanted to know what it was like to have a sister who didn’t want to kill him; but whatever it was, Tyrion had made up his mind. He was going to make these two fools realise they were in love. He had an idea, like a lot of his ideas recently; it was a reckless and possibly stupid one. Not as recklessly stupid as unchaining two hungry dragons but close enough. And it just so happened, the person he was with had one of the most beautiful singing voices he had heard in a long time.

_“There you see her  
Sitting there across the way  
She don’t got a lot to say  
But there’s something about her  
And you don’t know why  
But you’re dying to try  
You wanna kiss the girl,”_ Podrick sang, Tyrion risked a glance to see that Jaime was glancing around, looking perplexed at the sound but it seemed that Brienne hadn’t heard him. Tyrion smiled to himself before picking up the tune.

 _“Yes, you want her  
Look at her, you know you do  
It’s possible she wants you, too  
There is one way to ask her  
It don’t take a word  
Not a single word  
Go on and kiss the girl.”_ Tyrion sang, this time, Jaime glanced up towards the battlements and spotted Tyrion and Podrick; his cheeks flushing scarlet with both the cold and embarrassment. He wasn’t sure how much the two had had to drink. It was bad enough that they were singing but they were clearly referring to himself and Brienne. Jaime dared glance towards Brienne but aside from a pink tinge to her cheeks, she still made no movement or gesture to show that she had heard the two.

 _“Sing with me now,  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
My, oh, my  
Look at the boy too shy  
He ain’t gonna kiss the girl,” _Podrick and Tyrion sang as Jaime, still apparently too embarrassed for words, resorted to dragging his finger across his throat at them both. Before he could do anything else, Brienne suddenly leapt up and dashed up the stairs. Jaime had been too focused on sending silent death threats to Tyrion and Podrick that he hadn’t realised why Brienne had rushed off until Tormund had grabbed him by the neck. The blistering smell of whatever it was he had been drinking made Jaime’s eyes water; it had to be the strongest alcohol he had ever smelt in his life and considered who his sister was, that was saying something.

“Where’s my beauty? We survived the end of the world and I told her I’d find her after the battle! I want to make babies with her; great big monsters; they’d conquer the world!” Tormund exclaimed in his excited drunkenness. Jaime resisted the urge to smash Tormund’s face with his golden hand. Barely. If anyone was going to be making babies with Brienne, it would be him. 

“I haven’t seen her for some time but I think she was somewhere around the stables.” Jaime lied as Tormund took another swig of his toxic concoction and stumbled off. Jaime waited until Tormund was out of ear and eyeshot before looking towards the stairs. “He’s gone.”

“Thanks,” Brienne said quietly as she took her seat on the steps again, returning to her silent vigil of the stars. Jaime wanted to sit next to her, they wouldn’t need to have a conversation, he wouldn’t even try to hold her hand. He just wanted to sit next to her, be by her side. That’s all. Nothing had to happen, he just wanted to be close to her. But he didn’t feel brave enough to do it.

 _“Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Ain’t that sad  
Ain’t it shame, too bad  
You gonna miss the girl” _Tyrion and Podrick sang and Jaime felt his last nerve snap. It was bad enough having these confusing, romantic, emotional thoughts in his head without his brother and her squire singing like two lovestruck bards. Jaime walked over to the steps and climbed up them, sitting on the step beside Brienne, nudging her shoulder playfully as he sat down. Brienne had watched him approach and offered him a small smile as he joined her.

“I’m sorry about those two,” Jaime apologised quietly and Brienne shook her head.

“It’s fine, they’re just drunk and relieved that we won the battle; there are worse songs that they could be singing.” Brienne replied as Jaime felt a pang in his chest. Could it be that she felt so little of herself that she couldn’t believe that Tyrion and Podrick were singing about her? If they were drunk enough to sing then they would have stayed inside where there was a warm fire and a lot more to drink and sing about. Surely Brienne had to see that the fact that the two idiots were singing about a couple who were in love but too afraid to do anything about it had to be about them.

 _“Now’s your moment  
Sitting underneath the Moon  
Boy, you better do it soon  
No time will be better  
She don’t say a word  
And she won’t say a word  
Until you kiss the girl,”_ Tyrion sang; he could see that Jaime was starting to build up his courage. He had approached Brienne, sat by her side and was trying to work out his next move. Jaime was a soldier, a strategist, in order for the battle to be won, he had to make his move at the right time. Tyrion also knew that it would need to take action on Jaime’s part for Brienne to believe and accept her own feelings for Jaime. She wouldn’t admit anything until Jaime did it first. 

_“Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don’t be scared  
You got the mood prepared  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don’t stop now  
Don’t try to hide it how  
You wanna kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Sing along  
Listen to the song  
The song say kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Music play  
Do what the music say  
You wanna kiss the girl” _Podrick and Tyrion sang, louder and more and more out of tone and off key. They were losing patience and were wondering whether it would have been a better plan to have locked the two of them in a room together and refused to let them out until they had both confessed how they felt for one another. 

That was Plan B; for if their plan of repeatedly singing/ordering Jaime to kiss Brienne didn’t work. 

That plan had also been Sansa’s Plan A. 

“We can’t ignore them anymore, can we?” Brienne asked Jaime quietly and Jaime smiled at her.

“Unfortunately not. I am sorry for both of their behaviour.” Jaime apologised again. He wasn’t sure how he would have let Brienne know that he had feelings for her but it definitely wouldn’t have involved the two drunken songbirds who insisted on harassing them both. He would have done it properly; taken her for a walk or written her a love letter or a poem, brought her flowers or a new dagger; he would have let her know that his feelings were genuine; that it wasn’t some joke or rouse like what she had experienced before. Whatever this was, whatever he felt; it was real.

“Don’t be,” Brienne said; she had been trying to ignore their singing. Yet as it continued and she had observed Jaime’s reaction; she had bared to wonder, dared to think that maybe, just maybe, Tyrion and Podrick had been singing it for a reason. The flicker of courage sparked into her mind for just a moment. But it was all she needed. If he misheard or didn’t react then she could blame a range of sources; the alcohol, the exhaustion or play it as a joke, a way to get Tyrion and Podrick to shut up. “You can if you want to.” 

“What?” Jaime asked, hoping against hope that he had heard what he thought he had heard. Brienne’s blush confirmed what he thought he had heard was true. He could kiss her if he wanted to. Gods, he wanted to. As long as she did; and he thought she did. Did she?

“You can if you want to,” Brienne repeated as she felt the air between them shift. Things had changed, they could both feel it around them; they were just waiting on one of them to make a move, to do something, anything, the tension was surrounding them, threatening to drown them. Jaime felt his mouth open and shut blankly a few times before he smiled at her.

“I want to,” Jaime whispered as he cupped Brienne’s cheek in his hand, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. Brienne closed her eyes and smiled softly as his touch. Neither of them could believe that it was happening; something they both wanted and denied ever having wanted in their lives.

_“You’ve got to kiss the girl  
Why don’t you kiss the girl  
You gotta kiss the girl  
Go on and kiss the –“_

“GO AWAY!” Jaime finally bellowed up towards Tyrion and Podrick, shaking his head ruefully at the sound of their retreating footsteps, a pause, before they clearly tiptoed back. Jaime was about to yell at them again but instead Brienne mirrored his action by cupping his cheek and turning his face back to hers. Before her courage could abandon her, Brienne leaned in and pressed her lips to Jaime’s. Jaime eagerly kissed her back and the rest of the world faded away except for the two of them in this moment.

From the darkened doorway where she had hidden herself away, Sansa watched the two lovers share their first kiss and a smile crossed her face as she turned and slipped back inside before she could get caught. As Sansa wandered back to the feast, she thought about what she knew of Jaime and Brienne’s complicated past and blossoming romance and her own melody came into her mind.

“Tale as old as time…”


	2. I Won't Say I'm In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song is from Hercules. Requests welcome.

“Are you even listening to me?” Tyrion asked, turning to face Jaime who was staring down into the courtyard. Of course. Lady Brienne was below with a group of young men and women, giving them some basic training. Either she was deliberately ignoring Jaime or was unaware that he was there, Tyrion wasn’t sure. What he was sure of, was how Jaime felt. “Are you going to tell her?”

“Tell her what?” Jaime asked, “I have nothing to say to Lady Brienne.”

Tyrion scoffed. “Of course not. You have nothing to say to the woman who saved you from the Dragon’s flames and the wrath of the North. Does she know why you really left our dear sister?”

“That’s enough Tyrion, I mean it.” Jaime warned as Tyrion rolled his eyes. Even though Jaime had finally broken free of Cersei’s control; it seemed that he still was unwilling to let himself see what was in front of his eyes. 

“What are you afraid of?” A different voice asked and Jaime and Tyrion looked up to see Sansa walking towards them. “We all see how you both look at one another.”

“You don’t understand,” Jaime said and sighed deeply. _“If there's a prize for rotten judgement  
I guess I've already won that  
No woman is worth the aggravation  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!”_

He had already thought he had experienced love; love wasn’t what it was said to be. Love wasn’t happy. Love wasn’t caring. Or warm. It hurt. It poisoned him. Manipulated him. He did not deserve love. No one deserved to experience what he thought as love. 

Sansa and Tyrion shared a look and rolled their eyes skyward. _“Who'd' ya think you're kiddin'  
She's the Seven Heavens to you  
Try to keep it hidden  
Jaime, we can see right through you  
Boy, ya can't conceal it  
We know how ya feel and  
Who you're thinking of,”_ Sansa and Tyrion sang, looking pointedly towards Brienne. Jaime shoved past them and resisted the urge to clap his hands over his ears. He was not dealing with this. Not now. Not ever. 

_“No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no-” _Jaime insisted. Maybe if he said it enough times, he would start to believe it. Brienne was his friend. His best friend. His best friend who he had had life-changing experiences with. His best friend who made him a better person and want to be a better person. But he wasn’t in love with her.

_“You swoon, you sigh  
Why deny it, uh-oh?” _Tyrion and Sansa asked and Jaime scoffed. He did not swoon. Maidens swooned. He was a knight, a warrior. He did not swoon. Not even when Brienne smiled at him and made him want to swim in her beautiful sapphire blue eyes...

_“It's too cliche  
I won't say I'm in love,”_ Jaime retorted. Surely it had to be a jape of some sort. Falling in love with his best friend; was there a bigger cliche? It was why people said that men and women couldn’t be best friends.

_“I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
It feels so good when you start out  
My head is screaming get a grip, boy  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out!” _Jaime snapped. His memories of Cersei were tainted now. Or maybe their entire relationship had always been tainted. What had he done for love? Borne three bastards from incest; attempted to murder a child, failed to save his daughter from death. How many of his sins could be attributed to what he thought was his love for Cersei?

_“You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
Jaime, we're not buying  
Man, we saw ya hit the ceiling  
Face it like a grown-up  
When ya gonna own up  
That ya got, got, got it bad!”_ Sansa and Tyrion insisted. It was clear to everyone in Winterfell that Jaime had feelings for Brienne. Even back at the Dragon pit, it was obvious when Jaime hesitated after Brienne spoke to him. Not to mention how often his gaze would turn to her or he would be at her side. Not to mention, how she spoke for him at his trial. If they could just see what was in front of them….

_“No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no!” _Jaime insisted as he caught Brienne’s eye and she sent him a flicker of a smile, one that was enough for him to feel butterflies in his stomach and a silly smile to cross his face. 

_“Give up, give in  
Check the grin you're in love!” _Sansa and Tyrion quipped, smiling at the grin on Jaime’s face before Jaime scowled at them. Could they not leave him alone for five minutes? 

_“This scene won't play,  
I won't say I'm in love!” _Jaime insisted. Why was that so hard for them to accept? If he was in love, which he wasn’t, then he would want to have some peace and quiet to think about it. But he wasn’t in love. So why did it matter?

_“You're doin' flips, read our lips  
You're in love,” _Sansa and Tyrion sang; well he wasn’t literally doing flips. Yet. However if Brienne smiled at him again, then who knew what he would do.

_“You're way off base  
I won't say it  
Get off my case  
I won't say it!”_ Jaime insisted as he went to find somewhere quiet, secluded and away from his irritating younger brother and the irritating Lady Stark. He was certain of his feelings, he just didn’t need to be bombarded about it by half of Westeros. 

_“Hey don't be proud  
It's O.K. you're in love,” _Tyrion suggested. He was happy his brother had found love. Sure the Night King was coming with his army of the dead and they were probably going to be slaughtered in a few days time but at least they would have some happiness before the end. And if by some miracle they did all survive, well, it would be nice to have a sister who didn’t loathe him or want him dead. 

_“At least out loud,  
I won't say I'm in love,”_ Jaime decided quietly. Maybe he did have feelings for Brienne that went beyond friendship. Maybe he could see a future with her. Maybe he could find happiness with her. Maybe she might even love him too. But for now, he wasn’t going to say a word.

Not yet anyway.


End file.
